I have quoted the movie Back to the Future before. I sympathize with Marty's father in the movie. He gives a reason for why he does not stand up for himself, "I am sorry son, but I am just not good at confrontations." Some people enjoy confrontations and seek them out with most anyone. Others shy away and give up their position to avoid them. In the past few weeks I have had a couple of confrontations that I would rather have not had. One had to do with work. I had let something go on far too long because I knew what the result would be when I confronted the problem. For someone in my position, avoiding conflicts is not a desired trait. I think I am probably liked because I am not a ranting and raving boss, but that can have consequences. For one, when I do confront problems and show some energy about it, it is all the more harsh because it does not happen that often. The other side is that employees can get into bad habits because they are not "smacked around" enough. I try to find a happy medium between the two. If something needs to be corrected, I correct it and do so forcefully if needed. Otherwise, I try to remain easy going and let the employees do their jobs. I do not claim to have the market cornered on being a boss, but I do feel I do better now than when I started out. Are you into confrontations or do you like peace and quiet?
Thursday, September 14, 2006
"I am just not good at confrontations"
I have quoted the movie Back to the Future before. I sympathize with Marty's father in the movie. He gives a reason for why he does not stand up for himself, "I am sorry son, but I am just not good at confrontations." Some people enjoy confrontations and seek them out with most anyone. Others shy away and give up their position to avoid them. In the past few weeks I have had a couple of confrontations that I would rather have not had. One had to do with work. I had let something go on far too long because I knew what the result would be when I confronted the problem. For someone in my position, avoiding conflicts is not a desired trait. I think I am probably liked because I am not a ranting and raving boss, but that can have consequences. For one, when I do confront problems and show some energy about it, it is all the more harsh because it does not happen that often. The other side is that employees can get into bad habits because they are not "smacked around" enough. I try to find a happy medium between the two. If something needs to be corrected, I correct it and do so forcefully if needed. Otherwise, I try to remain easy going and let the employees do their jobs. I do not claim to have the market cornered on being a boss, but I do feel I do better now than when I started out. Are you into confrontations or do you like peace and quiet?
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3 comments:
WRITE ON, JOB...
You are your father's son!!
I like whatever YOU like! I mean...whatever!
Does that answer your question?
I hate confrontation, too! It's like I know it's needed, but sometimes I just wish the situation would fix itself.
Contrary to what my family thinks, I am not a confrontation "seeker."
But, I have confronted situations in our family, so I think that's the label I've been given.
I do not like confrontations. I do like honest communication that is done in love. Hard to do, but I think it's right.
I am not good at confrontation, but I am willing to try to say something about a problem rather than assume it will go away on its own. I believe it's healthy to talk about problems.
We are not mind-readers, yet we find ourselves doing that exact thing daily. I assume by someone's actions or facial expressions that I know why they did or didn't do something. Wrong move. If you want a different response than you're getting in a co-worker, employee, friend, spouse, or whoever: you must talk to them to give them a chance to change or explain why they are doing what they're doing.
Confrontation can be done in a kind or rude way. THe longer we wait to confront a problem, the more likely it is that the problem will create bitterness within us, so it is better to express your concern when you see the problem starting.
Again, I have not mastered these skills, but I am trying to learn how to communicate openly instead of letting things go. I may make people angry, but my intent is to share honest feelings, that's all.
Hope that makes sense.
Love you, JOB.
Big sis
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